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Sunday, June 16, 2013

This one's for you Scott


Happy Father’s day to all of the dads I know.  You take a lot of crap from us. In honour of this special day I thought I would write a blog specifically about the love of my life and one of the father’s of my children.  Even typing “one of the father’s” make me feel just a little bit naughty.  What can I say; I’m one of THOSE women, who likes to mix it up. Back to the story at hand; Scott.  He just loves it when I write about him here.  He is still recovering from the last blog post I dedicated to him.

When I met Scott I had two kids, Logan who was two at the time and Meghan who was six. Not only was I a recently single mom but he had a baby on the way with his lovely ex-girlfriend.  Have I ever mentioned that he and I don’t do things the simple and traditional way? We like the complicated, slightly awkward to explain way of life.  It’s just the way we roll.

Besides being instant love (and lust) Scott was a keeper from the beginning when it came to my kids.  He was amazing with them, just having a natural talent for being around kids without going completely insane.  That is the definition of parenthood is it not?  That and to make sure your children have a real reason for the future therapy bills.

Between Scott and I we have four children.  Two are mine, one is his and thanks to the water in Mexico 9 months after our wedding, we popped one out that is ours.  Although I think Scott may be my biggest baby of all:P

So Scott baby, this one’s for you.

Some memorable moments with Scott as a dad (in no particular order):

OH MY GOD, I forgot him!:

When our youngest son Finnegan was six months old I went back to work and Scott took the remaining six months of parental leave.  Shortly after he took over the mommy duties I gave him a call around the time school let out to see how his day was going.  We were chatting about nothing much, his day, my day, that he had parked at our friend’s house a couple of blocks away and walked to the school.  I asked how Finnegan was and suddenly dead silence, followed shortly by “OH MY GOD I FORGOT HIM IN THE CAR I HAVE TO GO” and click.  My heart stopped as I waited at the phone for a phone call.  A very relieved and chagrined Scott called me back two minutes later with a sleeping baby in arms.  He got a frantic lecture from me and an almost heart attack.  He did learn something that day.  Never park far away from school, he CAN run like the wind when pushed and never ever forget the baby.  He never did again, although I still rag him about it now and again.  Sleep deprivation is fantastic and Scott had the pleasure of experiencing that!

Mrs. Hill wants to speak to you:

When our son Logan was in Kindergarten we got a call from his teacher one day.  His teacher, politely and awkwardly explained to us that Logan was “adjusting” himself in class and could we please ask that he stop doing that.  Scott handled it like a pro, sitting Logan down and talking to him about public vs. Private and suggesting to the teacher she send him to the bathroom if she noticed him doing it again.  Scott saved us from a lot of embarrassment, had she spoken to me I would have probably suggested we tape his penis to his leg, make him wear footy jammies to school, wear mittens, or duct tape his pants closed.

Meghan wears diapers?!?

One weekend when we were cleaning up our house and doing regular weekend things  like laundry (we’re living the dream, what can I say) Logan walked in on his sister in the bathroom.  She happened to be menstruating at the time and he caught her in the middle of changing.  He took one look and said “Meghan, you wear diapers?!?!?!” to which she firmly screamed for him to get out.  He went running to Scott and said “Daddy, daddy, Meghan wears diapers?!?!?”.

Scott calmly looked at him and replied “Go talk to your mother”

Daddy’s car goes faster than your car:

One day when I was driving down the street with the kids, Logan piped up from the back seat “Daddy’s car goes faster than your car mama.  AND sometimes, it even goes side to side”

I don’t do puke, I will NEVER live in Surrey and I will NOT drive a minivan:

All I can say to this is that you better watch when you say “never”.  One week after we started dating Scott kneeled beside me on the hall carpet helping me clean up sick 2 year old boy vomit.  Seven months after we met he moved in with me.  In Surrey. 

Four years after we met we bought a minivan.

All kidding aside, Scott is a great dad, who demonstrates by:

·         Being the hot lunch lady at school

·         Being a playmate when one is required (oh the sacrifices he makes for his kids)

·         Wiping away their tears, snot, poop, and other disgusting substances with only minimal gagging

·         Kissing away the hurt, the tears, and the fear (and not just for me!)

·         Never flinching when Logan introduced him to strangers as “This is my dad, I have another dad too”

·         singing aloud and off key to the Arrogant worms Pirate song complete with hand movements in the car

·         watching Barney, The Backyardigans and the Wonder Pets without hesitation

·         Reciting lines from Sponge Bob Square Pants to relate to our life

·         Wearing the sexy (even typed that with a straight face) uniform of a Scout leader

·         having a sense of humour, god knows he needs it

·         almost not falling asleep when I was in labour with Finnegan

What amazes me about him is the capacity for love he has, for the kids, for me for others.  We live a complicated, chaotic existence and I wouldn’t want to do it all with any other man.  Happy Father’s day my love, and thank you for being not only a fantastic husband but a wonderful dad too.

On a side note, when we were leaving a friends tonight (had dinner there) and I was headed home, him to work, he leaned into the van window and gave me a kiss.  From the back seat, Finnegan piped up “EWWWWW they licked tongues”

I can certainly say there is never a dull moment.
 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Lessons on the Grind


I had a profound experience on Saturday.  Before I reveal that experience, let me give you some background information.  My training partner Carol-Ann and I made plans last week to hike the Grouse Grind on the weekend.

For those of you not familiar with the Grouse Grind, it’s a brutal 2.9 kilometre trail up the side of Grouse Mountain.  There are 2830 stairs and markers every quarter of the way to tell you where you are.

When Carol-Ann and I started talking about it at work (we are team members at work) people were shocked that we were planning to do it.  Every person I spoke to commented on how hard it is; that we’d be sore and wished us good luck with a grimace.  Some told us of how they had attempted it and for some reason never made it past the ¼ mark.  As the week wore on I began to wonder about our sanity.  We had been training really hard for almost a month in the gym, three days of weights and two days of cardio.  When we had made the decision to conquer the Grind, I had felt certain we could do it.

By Friday I jokingly told team members that I may require them to push me around in my chair on Monday or to watch out for the flares coming off the side of the mountain on Saturday morning.  The only thing that kept me on target was my training partner, who I had committed to doing the hike with. 

So with doubts I cleaned my house on Friday night in case I couldn’t move Saturday afternoon and settled in for the night, setting my alarm clock for the crack of early.  When I woke up to the horrible sound of my alarm clock on Saturday morning, I showered, dressed and ate, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach and that voice inside of my head quietly chanting “crazy”.
 

I got to Carol-Ann’s and we drove to Grouse Mountain together, both clearly a little nervous.  Just seeing her and how far she had come with her training in the recent weeks, I also started to feel excitement.  I started to think “I can do this...and if I can’t she looks strong enough to drag me”

We got our backpacks stowed at customer service, went to the bathroom, strapped on our water and headed to the entrance of the Grind. I was excited that I could possibly accomplish this and a little scared that I couldn’t.  We entered the trail and started to climb, up and up and up.  Ten minutes in and my lungs were burning along with my calves and quadriceps.  We had a steady pace and stopped every 100 steps or so to breathe.

We walked, and walked and walked, climbed up and up and up and up.  After what seemed like an hour, we reached a sign that cheerfully told us that we had reached the ¼ mark.  We stopped for water and a picture, so I could prove I was still alive and I had a moment of doubt.  If I was this winded already, could I make it all of the way? As people cheerfully passed us, we got back on the trail and kept going. 
 
 
We saw people of all ages, from the very young to the old, men, women, in various states of fitness level.   We had people who passed us and some we passed.  We had people who rushed past impatiently stating “on your left” as they got down to business and pushed past those of us in their way.  We had a few people actually running up the trail.  My personal opinion on those people is that they are either mentally unbalanced or super human. 

Between the ¼ and ½ mark we encountered a site that simply blew what remained of my breath away.  In front of us was a blind man.  He had a long white stick and a very patient guide, who told him exactly what was in front of him and exactly where and how to step forward.  Their speed was slow but steady and they progressed without any hesitation.
This inspired me like nothing else could have, which comes to my profound experience.  If this man could do it without sight but great direction what was stopping me? I have both sight and with my training partner direction.  I have to admit that seeing that, at that very moment in my journey gave breath to my lungs and power to my heart.  It reminded me that no matter what the obstacles we can always overcome and succeed.  Sometimes it takes the help of others, along with your own perseverance and dedication to get there.  It takes commitment, hard work and constant encouragement certainly helps.
As I walked behind the man and his guide for a while I saw the man stumble at certain points when he wasn’t clear on the direction.  I related that to my own life, where I have stumbled (and certainly will stumble many more times) and have felt like giving up or that it was just too hard, yet somehow most of those times I made it through anyway.  It could have been the great people that have guided me when I was blind to that potential or the commitment and perseverance I have had to succeed. 

We did eventually pass this man, but he stayed with me all the way to the top.  One hour, thirty-four minutes and eighteen seconds after entering the trail Carol-Ann and I emerged at the top, successful in our journey.  At that moment, once I learned how to breathe again, I felt like I was literally at the top of the world.  That I can conquer anything and that this very short journey proves that all it takes is commitment, great team work and inspiration to accomplish anything.  Despite the doubt and the dire warnings of either imminent pain or failure, we walked up the side of a mountain.  One step at a time is all it took.  I’m not going to lie, many of those steps were tough and were only achieved with hard work, sweat and will power.

The even more unexpected thing, I woke up this morning without an ounce of stiffness in my limbs.  I woke up with a clear mind and limber body.  Sometimes what holds us back the most is that fear.  Can I do it?  Will it hurt? Will I fail?  Instead of thinking of these things, next time I will be thinking about that feeling I had when I reached the top.  When I’m halfway there and my enthusiasm is starting to wane I will remember that blind man and the lesson he taught me.
 
 

Some realizations I had from my first climb on the Grouse Grind:

·         Believe you can do it and then go and do it, even if it is one slow step at a time

·         Even when you cannot see what’s in front of you, keep moving forward and if you need help, accept that guidance

·         Having a training partner to do it with me made all of the difference.  I was never alone and I always had support. I was also able to give support, which really showed me again the true meaning of team

·         Accept when you need to pause to get your breath, nobody is judging you, they are simply trying to make it too

·         Let those in a hurry pass but don’t try to catch up, you’ll get there when it’s your time

·         Hard work pays off, especially when you know exactly what you are working for

·         Celebrate each success, even if you aren’t finished the journey.  Every marker we stopped to admire our progress

·         When you look back when you are on the path, really see how far you’ve come, even if you still have far to go

·         The crowded gondola smells really ripe on the way down; success doesn’t always smell like roses ;-)
 

I would do it again. In fact, I challenge YOU to get out there and climb those 2830 steps even if it’s only to prove that you can.  If you don’t think you can do it alone, that’s ok.  We can do it together, because sometimes in life, when you cannot see the way, all you need is a little guidance to succeed.

Saturday, June 1, 2013


I’m sitting here on a Saturday afternoon, in a relatively mellow mood, pondering life.  The mellowness may be the glass of wine I consumed while bottling this afternoon, but I’ll just go with it. 

For those of you close to me, you know I’ve been on a journey these past few months, to lose weight, to get healthier and to feel better.  Now if you think the next sentences are going to be motivational and uplifting on how my life has changed, you may want to turn back now...

Let me set things straight.  Exercising and dieting suck.  They are hard work.  Sure I tell myself that it’s good for me, that it’s satisfying and on a deep level makes me a better person, and all of that is probably true but to be blunt, it’s been brutal.  Until you start counting calories on everything you consume you have no idea.  When I started entering in my food, I was a bit cocky.  Breakfast, not bad, I have LOTS of calories left that the handy little app has indicated are my calories for the day.

By 4 PM out of boredom or hunger or whatever it is, I look at that handy little app as I browse the snack items at the Tim Horton’s by my work and quickly realize that dieting SUCKS.  Yes, sure, I can have that donut that is blinking seductively at me from behind the glass but then I can’t have dinner AND I have to work out 30 minutes more than planned.  I don’t even LIKE doughnuts but damn, me on a diet and my cravings go into overdrive.  That doughnut is evil and dieting, truly sucks.  It is completely beside the point that if I weren’t on a diet I wouldn’t even have looked twice at the evil mass of dough.

So no snack for me, only tea, two milk, no sugar.  Sugar is apparently evil.

I have lost 30 pounds and not sure how many inches so far, but have suffered through every single one of those pounds.  I have discovered some pertinent facts about myself through this process:

·         I like eating

·         I don’t particularly like salad

·         I really don’t like salad without dressing

·         I really, really don’t like broccoli and plain chicken breast

·         I really, really, really, love bread

·         I have no patience, I want results, like NOW

·         My willpower is very weak and requires constant discipline

·         Exercising is HARD work and nothing like the joy of sex

·         I hate that stupid little calorie counting app

·         I am fundamentally lazy

·         I hate dieting

·         I am not as flexible as I thought

·         Sweating is not sexy

·         Red is the colour my face turns as a result of cardio

·         Drinking more water just makes me have to pee even more (In fact if I drink much more at work I might as well set up office in the bathroom and use the cubicle like a confessional for all of my team)

·         White fish tastes like rubber

·         Egg whites taste like sponge

·         Anything that tastes good I can’t eat

I have been reading a lot of blogs, facebook messages, websites, etc. To motivate me and give me advice and I personally think they are all crazy.  Who truly believes this is a better lifestyle?  Fine, I am looking a little better, and feeling a little better and I’ve lost weight and inches but I have fought off every single one. Anything that resembles work does NOT resemble fun..