Sagging and scratching - the joys of womanhood

I’m not going to apologize for not writing lately. Really I’m not. (sorry). I’ve been insanely busy having an allergic reaction to my new medication and scratching various parts of my body at different times of the day, it’s super fun. It’s especially pleasant when I have hives on my inner thighs or beneath my breasts that makes for great scratching.

I did have some fun playing with a site that you can upload your photo and superimprose yourself into different era `yearbook photos`.  As you can see from the picure in this blog I had great fun playing with Scott.  Isn`t he sexy?


So I got a promotion, I am now a manager. That’s all I’m going to say about that. I’d pat myself on the back but I’m too itchy.

Everything else in my life is the same old thing. I did discover something about myself through the process of competing for my promotion though. Patience is just not my strong suit. Scott stop nodding your head, it’s rude to agree with me, unless I want you to of course.

So I’ve lost ten pounds. I’ve been working out on a semi-regular basis and basically eating better. No butter chicken for me but man am I craving it now that I mentioned it. Although I'm still a long way to my ideal body.  I just hope that when I get there my boobs aren't sagging even more than they do now.  After nursing three kids until a year each the perkiness is virtually non existent without a good bra. Don`t believe them when they say breastfeeding doesn`t cause sagging.  If mine sag any more I`ll be able to tuck them into my pants.

Speaking of the little leaches, we had Finnegan’s second birthday party last weekend, and my baby boy is now two. I forgot how much two sucks. The magic age where they discover that they do have a choice in the matter. Although when he refuses to move and I pick him up and carry him to where I want him it kind of defeats the purpose of his defiance. His favourite word is currently “No”. He seems to think it gives him the power. He hasn’t realized yet just how stubborn his mommy is.

The lovely angel of “no-ness” had his immunizations on Thursday and now has a fever and is cranky, which is super fun. I’ve been wearing a toddler all afternoon and even ended up being his nap mat. Inferno boy pressed up against me was a lovely feeling. Kind of like sitting in a sauna fully dressed. Fun times.

Summer has decided to skip the West Coast this year, it’s been gray and yucky almost every day, and I wonder, how can I possibly whine about the heat when there isn’t any? Instead I have to whine about the crappy weather which is so last month. I can’t believe it’s already July, or that Scott and I have been married for almost three years. On one hand it feels like just yesterday that we said our vows and on the other hand it feels like I’ve been with him forever. I’m sure when I’m cranky like I am right now it feels like forever for him too.

He’s okay though, I think I’ll keep him. He cooks. Last night he went out to a movie with a friend and I had to cook for the kids. I made a very nutritious meal of chicken fingers and sidekicks cheddar pasta. My niece commented on my cooking abilities, she apparently inherited the sarcastic streak. Damn kid. (She’s twenty one so I suppose not a kid). Thank goodness for Scott and his love of food. We’d starve otherwise. Although without me nothing else would get done, so I guess it’s a fair trade (just don’t tell Scott that).

I really don’t have much to share today; I’m cranky, restless and itchy. Finnegan has liquid poop so I have made sure Scott changes his diaper when he stinks. Scott is usually distracted enough not to notice until it’s too late. What can I say, I’m evil that way.

This day in the life has been brought to you by anti itch cream, which by the way burns when you accidentally get it into your privates, or your eyes, or the zit that I’ve been picking at all weekend and is not a giant crater on my chin.

On an end note, here is what I'd look like:

I almost peed my pants playing with this website, especially with Scott's mug. He didn't seem to find them as amusing.  Go Figure.

wifezilla

Sorry for the delay in filling you all in on my fun and exciting life, I know how riveting it is. Mostly I haven’t written because either I’ve been too lazy or too tired. Work has been crazy busy and by the time I get home I’m so tired I start to drool. Apparently that’s not a turn off for Scott, or it could be that he doesn’t look past the boobs!

We attended Meghan’s spring concert tonight, where Meghan had a couple of parts and sang a solo and was the narrator. She’s truly amazing. She does not get that from me, I pretty much peak at mediocre and if I were to sing in front of a crowd the screeching may cause male cats to rush the stage thinking I’m in heat and every human within hearing distance to hold their ears in pain.

You know as annoying as kids can be a moment like the spring play tonight sure showcases why it is we have children. They are great spirit lifters, Meghan made me feel so proud tonight. I know I tell my kids that I had them strictly for slave labour but I have to be honest with you they make the worst slaves ever. They don’t always clean up after themselves, they talk back and they whine when they do their chores. Too bad I’m morally opposed to beating. Although that bodes well for my husband who thinks the kitchen is clean when most of the dishes are in the dishwasher. He seems so shocked when I point out the dirty counters, food on the floor and six dishes spread around, kind of like “How’d that get there?”

I sometimes wonder when we lose that natural confidence that kids have. I know I as an adult certainly don’t have it. Tonight after the play Megs comes up to me and asks “Were we awesome?” I said “Yes Baby, you were!” She smiles smugly and states without guilt “I know”. I wish I could do that, I’d be so conceited (because I’m perfect and all)!

Finnegan has begun speaking more words which is great since the kid is almost two! The only problem is we aren’t sure what language they’re in. Although NO is perfectly clear and often present in his speech.

In other exciting news we got a PVR today and Telus TV. It is a sure indication you need to get out more when getting cable in your bedroom thrills you.

Have I mentioned that I hate menstrual cramps? I got my period this morning and feel like my uterus is being pushed through my spleen. Now thanks to Logan every time I think about my period I think about the thing at the end of a sentence. Trust me when I tell you, you do not want me at the end of your sentence for the next few days, I am Cranky. Scott loves this time of the month, when my hormones take over and turn me into wifezilla, where even his breathing is annoying. He may survive another month! Like I always say, it’s a good thing he’s cute.

I should have known I was getting my period soon this weekend when I felt like a rampaging lunatic.  My family loved hanging around with me this weekend, let me tell you.  They were so happy about it they thoughtfully left me alone whenever possible.  Except Finnegan.  He'll learn.  Eventually.

More tomorrow, I promise.

The many uses of duct tape

It’s been a week since I wrote in my blog, it seems as I’m as inconsistent with this as I am with everything in my life, with exception to my regularity! Too bad bran doesn’t work for all aspects of my life.


Megs had a sleep deprived EEG yesterday, which meant I had to keep her up until midnight and wake her up at 5am and keep her awake. Let me tell you, she had a hard time keeping me awake! That and Finnegan waking me up every hour due to his nose, throat and I’m pretty sure stomach by now filled with snot, life was good in my household yesterday. I was like a house of ten women all riding the crimson wave simultaneously. Scott was lucky to be working graveyards.

So I’ve decided what to name my next child if I were to have another one. Fartimer. Yes folks it IS a real name, I was looking up the meaning of Finnegan’s name online the other day and as I was scrolling down I couldn’t help but see this wonderful name. Think about it, yelling out the front door “Farty, it’s time for supper”. So Scott has a choice, vasectomy or Fartimer. He’s probably just read this and is now frantically googling local Vasectomy doctors! (He’s knows I’d do it!)

Why was I looking up the meaning of Finnegan’s name you ask? Well someone at work asked what his name meant. Beyond telling them “Mr Dress-up’s Sock puppet dog” I couldn’t tell them. People apparently demand meaning in lives and names. Pfft. Logan was named after Wolverine from the comic book. You can certainly tell I’m a deep and meaningful person.

Have you ever noticed how cute kids are when sleeping? I just went to check on my brats, I mean angels and had to smile at how beautiful they are. I think when you become a parent you somehow suffer brain damage. It strikes me as odd as to how you can stare down at a sleeping child and think about how beautiful, precious and wonderful they are when for the past fifteen hours before the little buggers succumbed to sleep they drove you to the brink and made you think of creative ways you could use duct tape. Ain’t parenthood grand?

Well all of my babies are asleep except the eleven and a half year old so I’m going to try to pass out and drool all over Scott’s pillow since he had the audacity to work graveyards tonight. Night night.