Like a Dump Truck

I sat and read my email this morning, sifting through junk mail and jokes my friends send me when I came across the email titled "Rules of Marriage as described by kids" and almost spit out my scrambled egg whites (and not just because they taste like rubber nothing either) when I got to question number nine:

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Answer:

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck . -- Ricky , age 10

Ricky is going to have a long and successful marriage one day. Thanks to Ricky I managed to eat my fibre filled, boring protein, sixteen litres of water breakfast without frowning for once. Although little Ricky almost made me pee my pants, which would have been a disaster given the amount of water I’d just consumed.

I’m contemplating asking Scott if I resemble a dump truck just to watch the deer in the headlights look come across his face while he thinks of the best answer that will not land him in the doghouse. Speaking of supporting loving husbands my wonderful, fantastic, soon to be dead husband just sat down next to me and plopped down a box of Lowney’s Chocolate cherries, my absolute favourite, right next to where I’m typing and proceeded to pop one into his mouth.

I tell you if that man wasn’t so damn cute he’d be dead.

Tomorrow will be the two week mark of my “clean living” and still no remarkable results. Sadly, I still look like a dump truck, but thanks to all of the fibre, veggies, milled flaxseed, I feel more like a manure truck.

Until next time.