Posts
So I had a final exam today, for the program I am working on
which is number nine out of ten and starting the last course this Thursday. The course I just completed today was “fast
track” which takes place over four weekends, then the final exam a couple of
weeks after the last class.
So essentially I am the most fun person on earth to live
with for that time. Now the following
dialogue is actually about me for once and not an opportunity to poke fun at my
family (Although Scott gives me the best material).
So let me tell you about the last few fun filled weeks in
the world of Shannon. I worked a LOT
over the last few weeks on projects going on at work, so sneaking in some study
time between things was pretty much impossible.
I get terribly odd looks when I cart my textbook into the bathroom at
work so no go there either. This meant
my family got the pleasure of sharing study time with mama.
Those of you, who know me, you (even grudgingly) understand
my incessant need for perfection even though it’s an impossible mission. Those of you who don’t know me, first of all,
how much do I owe you for actually reading my blog and second, you are lucky
you don’t have to witness the train wreck called perfection. When I receive my new textbook for each
course (which I get about six weeks in advance because you’re supposed to read
the entire text before the first class) I get all excited and motivated,
thinking that I will read the book and write all of my study notes well before
class.
Another little secret, I have a short attention span. This means the motivation wanes about a day
after I get the textbook and I make every excuse not to read the text, from I
have lots of time, or I’m really busy at work, to a million other little excuses that I would certainly
not accept from my children (but then double standards will have to be another
blog post some day). So I procrastinate
until about a week before class and then it hits me that holy crap I have about
300 pages of dry, insurance related material to read and try to absorb in a
week.
That is officially the beginning of panic mode and the
official sign that for me, the course has actually begun.
I then diligently go to class, read the material, study
every day, freak out, get confused, re-read, get a bit less unconfused, go to
class, have someone ask a question and get confused all over again. I then put my family through six weeks of “crazy
mommy” mode where I eat, breathe, talk course material. I get interrupted by the newest crisis like
the four year old crying because his brother kissed him and his kisses are
disgusting. I give them the “stink eye”
and my fourteen year old who truly understands “crazy mommy” mode, quickly
herds the four year old to safety.
It’s bad when the look of relief washes over my daughter’s
face when I let her know my exam is done.
She gets her time back that she slaved away babysitting while I
studied. That and crazy mommy now
becomes only partially crazy mommy.
So like I said, my exam was today. A word of advice for all of you future final
exam goers, it is not advisable to take laxatives anytime close to your exam
date. I am currently dieting, which
oddly causes my system to back up (all that roughage clogging the pipes). On Saturday night I decided it was time to
get things moving. The package said that
the dosage would work in 1 to 5 hours.
Sunday night came, a full 24 hours since the first dose. Nothing happened, unless you count the
noxious cloud that followed me everywhere.
So I ask my husband, who is getting ready for work if I should take
another dose. Now the first mistake I
made was taking advice from someone who has no medical background or idea. The second mistake was taking the second dose
the night before my exam.
Sunday night consisted of massive stomach cramps and odd dreams
about my course material, which lead to major whining when my alarm went off
bright and early this morning. The
stomach cramps however had receded and I was feeling okay other than
tired. So I made my way downtown with my
study partner to meet up with another study partner. The morning is relatively uneventful, spent
in a coffee shop trying to cram any last minute terms, definitions and concepts
into my overstuffed head.
We had a nice lunch and were just getting ready to head to
the exam when all of a sudden my stomach let out a giant howl and I had to book
it to the bathroom. I just made it
before the sewer pipe burst from the back up and the roughage finally made it
through, in great quantity and with tremendous force. There I was, thirty minutes before a two to
three hour final exam and the two doses of laxatives decided to work. Of course
they did.
Not my smartest decision ever. I had to text my study partner to warn her
not to come into the bathroom it was that bad.
I made three more trips to the bathroom in a thirty minute time period
and if my scale doesn’t tell me I’ve lost weight tomorrow than I am giving up
dieting for good.
Now the exam is done and I can breathe a sigh of relief (for
more reasons than one it would seem). I
have to wait five weeks for the final grades to come out. When I left the exam I thought to myself that
I had surely passed the exam. My natural
paranoia has begun to set in and has me wondering already maybe I didn’t do as
well as i assumed. After all I was in a
weakened state at the time!
The next five weeks maybe won’t be crazy mommy time, but
paranoid mommy time, which is so much better.
Really (Be quiet Scott!)
