The ideal of romance

 

For this day of love I thought I would blog about love and how our idea of love and romance evolves as we get older, have kids, experience life, etc.

When I was in my teens (back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth) I had a definitive idea of what love was.  It was perfect, the all encompassing, never sad or mad only ever ecstatically glad.  I would meet the man of my dreams, we’d fall instantly, madly in love and we’d live happily ever after.

I did meet someone and got married at the very young age of 19 (wisdom does not belong to the young – although over double the years the wisdom sometimes alludes me!).  Little did I know then that years later my life could have been an episode of Jerry Springer. 

I’m remarried now, and between us we have four kids (which explain the romance later in this blog).  Two I brought with me to the relationship, one was born very shortly after we started to date (from his previous relationship) and one which we had together.  We have ex’s that we try to maintain relationships with, kids that go back and forth (except the youngest who is going to start to feel left out soon) and a chaotic but oddly satisfying life together. 

Love now certainly doesn’t look anything like what it looked like twenty years ago but it’s real and it’s lasting and it defines us.

Now comes to the romance part.  When you were young and adventurous (those of you still young and adventurous close your eyes) did you ever have naughty fantasies?  I admit, I may have had one or two and let me tell you, fantasy and reality can be vastly different!

For instance when I envisioned being in the shower with two men I did not picture my husband and I jammed into our little bathtub with a toddler and all of his toys in-between. (Stop thinking I’m a pervert, I haven’t ever actually fantasized about that...or have I?).  When I fantasized about having someone hanging off of me wanting me desperately, listening to my every word, I did NOT mean literally.  My four year old thinks he should be attached to me at all times,  he sneaks into our room in the middle of the night, climbs on top of me and goes back to sleep.  Again, not what I imagined.

Romance when you have kids can get a bit creative.  Some great examples from my personal experience:

1.       I remember the Monday after Scott and I got married (before our youngest son).  We were in bed, sleeping when our then six year old son Logan banged on the door with all his might.  When I answered he yelled under the door “HEY – ARE YOU IN THERE MAKIN’ ME A BABY BROTHER?!?”

 

2.       A couple of weeks ago my husband had a lovely candlelit bath ready for me when I got home from work.  He got the toddler distracted with a movie and decided to join me in the tub.  There we were squished into the bathtub like a couple of sardines enjoying the peace and quiet when the toddler came barreling into the bathroom yelling “I GOTTA POOOOOOO....”

 

3.       It’s 10 pm, my husband climbs into bed, snuggles up all hopeful and I say something really sexy like “OK fine, but you have 5 minutes ‘cause I’m tired”

 

4.       Our date nights tend to end by 9pm at which time we come home and wrestle the four year old to bed because the fourteen year old has lost track on the time.  By the time the task is accomplished, it’s 10pm and romantic moment number 3 above repeats

 

5.       Romantic evenings at home typically include us cuddling, watching TV.  An hour long show always takes us twice that to watch because every 3 minutes either the toddler or the ten year old run in with the newest crisis.  Finnegan is screaming, Logan is looking at me, Can I have a snack? I have to go potty! Can I play on the computer? Can I play on the iPad? Logan’s not playing with me? The Wii remote batteries are DEAADDDDDDDDDD, you get the picture

 

Despite all of the above examples of our modern romance, I love my husband with all of my heart.  After all, he always gives me more fodder for my blogs :P

Happy love day to everyone, better watch what you wish for, it just may come true!

For you my love: http://animoto.com/play/0X8HeCmOMjy2lreNvwVDLA?utm_source&utm_medium=player&utm_campaign=player

How my husband Inadvertently chased away the Sunday "blahs"

 

It’s been a while dear blog readers, for that I am sorry.  Life has kicked me in the ass and told me to get to work on other areas, so I’ve neglected you.  All eight of my reader base, all of which have mostly been obligated to read based on either family obligations or the shackles of friendship.

So life is still insane but there’s been a blog post burning to let loose since last Sunday, so without further ado:

As part of that life kicking me in the ass comment, I was reviewing some work files last Sunday, sitting on my bed, my sinuses throbbing, feeling a solid case of the “blahs”.  I decided to turn on the TV and watch some movies on Movie Central on Demand while I worked. (multi-tasking at its finest).  I scrolled through my options, looking for a movie that I hadn’t seen and that looked interesting to me.  Since I had watched a lot of movies over Christmas my choices were limited.  There were a couple of movies that I considered but continued to scroll.

Finally, I came across Twilight, Breaking Dawn Part 1.  Now I’m not a huge Twilight fan, but had watched the other movies (some friends are fans).  I decided to watch it, thinking it would be a good movie to watch without my husband (I try to save any he would like to watch together).  I clicked on the title which took me into the menu.

Instead of “Play” it said “resume”, which happens if the movie/show has previously been watched.  It then gives you the choice of resuming where you left off or starting over.  I sat there perplexed for a minute trying to rack my brain.  Had I already watched this? I was sure I hadn’t, and I was almost as sure I hadn’t had a mental lapse (although it was indeed a possibility).

I then thought, “Hmm, maybe Meghan watched it”.  Then I started to giggle because Meghan, although being 14 and in the age demographic the movie/book is geared towards, she wouldn’t have been caught dead watching something so “mainstream”. (which is a totally different story some other time).

Then it hit me.  The giggle turned to an ear splitting grin and then full blown (and a bit maniacal) laughter.  Scott.  My big, strong man had watched a teen movie.  Even funnier, without me as an “excuse” as to why he would have watched it.

Since I was on my work laptop and Scott was at work I sent him an instant message through our internal network and the conversation went something like this:

 Me: um, honey...did you watch Twilight on Movie Central on Demand

Scott: um....yeah, but a long time ago

Me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha

Scott: What, I watched it for the fight scenes

Me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha

Scott: shut up

Me: uh huh, for the “fight scenes”...did you cry?

Scott: sigh

So I stopped teasing him and got back to work, clicking the “restart” button on the movie.  I watched the entire thing grinning like an idiot.  There was one whole two minute fight scene in the entire movie. 

So what did I do you ask?  I did what any other responsible, mature wife would do.  I’ve teased him mercilessly since.  I even asked him if his mangina was okay (it’s a good thing he has a fantastic sense of humour).

This morning when he came home from working graveyards I was teasing him again and his new excuse was “How am I going to have an opinion about something if I don’t watch it”

To that I replied “Who are you debating with, 12 year old girls?”

He threw a pillow at me.

He must be really secure in his manhood.  Normally he watches movies like that or the romantic comedies that I love (I’m a hopeless romantic under this bitchy exterior) with me.  Quite often when we are in the movie theatre I will look over at him and ask “are you crying?!”

To which he always replies “No...sniff”

I love my husband even if he sometimes acts more like a girl than I do!

Okay folks now it’s your turn to tell me if you want me to continue to write these silly blogs...

I love to write and I want to make time in this crazy little thing we call life but I want to concentrate on the things that add value.  For me writing is writing, I love writing anything.  Do YOU want me to write more blog posts?  Email me to let me know your thoughts at shanlovestowrite@gmail.com.