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This hero business was relatively simple until I grew up. When one day I woke up and found myself all growed up with kids of my own having a hero was much harder.
When I sit here tonight I know who exactly my hero is, but it isn’t as simple as a childhood cartoon character or a man in tights (now I have a mental image of Scott in tights. Picture a tall, dark haired, slightly balding but hairy everywhere else (and I mean everywhere) man with a bit of a belly in tights. Yeah, there ya go).
To be able to explain it to myself and to you I did what any intelligent person with an internet connection would do. I googled it.
The first site I found was for kids, which is about my speed, so they say a hero is:
1. A hero is someone who helps other people, or helps to make other people's lives better.
2. A hero is a person who tries to make the world a better place.
3. A hero is a person who does something that is more than what is expected.
4. A hero is someone that doesn't do something for his or her own problems but for the benefit of others.
5. A hero is a person that doesn't want to be a hero just to be famous.
I browsed through several more sites before I realized I had it all wrong. It wasn’t hero that I should be looking at, but more aptly heroine. Unfortunately Google doesn’t have a spell checker and I kind of forgot the e on the end the first time around. Let`s just say that what I found had nothing to do with being brave and now I`m probably on some internet watchdog`s naughty list. (Sorry Santa).
So when I retyped my spelling and pressed enter, the two best answers I got for heroine were:
1. A woman admired and emulated for her achievements and qualities
2. The central female figure in an event or period
My heroine isn’t really a traditional heroine and I have to admit, a bit unexpected. I never imagined when I worshipped Papa Smurf and He-Man that my true hero or heroine would be a thirteen year old girl. She doesn’t wear tights (much) and she hasn’t worn a cape since she got over her Teen Titan`s fixation at the tender age of eight. She doesn’t leap tall buildings with a single bound and she still has a bedtime (that we rarely actually make).
My hero is my daughter Meghan. Now it seems a bit weird to have a hero that is less than a third of your age and hasn’t had that much life experience but I have to be honest, sometimes Meghan has more wisdom then older people i know.
So why is she my hero you ask? There are too many reasons to count but let me think of some:
1. As much as I’ve tried to teach her about life, about right or wrong, about ethics and humanity she has taught me more than I could ever pass on to her
2. She is smart and I don’t mean that “I’m her mother so I think she’s a genius because she can count to 10” kind of smart. I mean she is REALLY smart.
3. She’s kind
4. She’s responsible. More responsible than many adults i know.
5. She thinks and she questions and she does so many things because it’s the right thing to do not because it’s popular or easier.
6. She is so artistic it makes me cry to see the beauty of her work. She doesn’t see it but every creation she makes I melt just a little more inside with pride. They say Pride is a sin, well, then I am a sinner because I couldn’t be more proud
7. She is talented and smart but more importantly modest. She would never even think that she was “better” than anyone else. She would cheer her friends when the won an award and compliment someone when they accomplished something. She meant that praise with all of her heart.
8. She cares, not just her own feelings but about everyone else’s first.
9. She notices things, like if I’m upset or someone is not feeling well or if someone is stressed, worried or tired. She feels those things right along with them, all the time trying to help them through.
10. She looks me in the eyes and I see the person reflected and want to be that better person in her vision
11. She is the bravest person I know. We had a chat about how bravery is not the absence of fear but taking action despite the fear and she understood. I don’t mean she nodded her head and said “yeah, whatever mom” to shut me up. I mean she looked me in the eyes with those beautiful hazel eyes of hers and she understood.
12. When she was six she found a quarter on the grocery store floor. She had a choice to get a gumball or put the coin into the donation box at customer service. She chose the donation. I would have chosen the bubblegum at six, and maybe even now.
13. She has held my hand, wiped away my tears, shard hers with me, let me pretend that I was teaching her valuable lessons when all the while it was really the other way around.
14. She trusts me with every part of her being. That scares me and wows me and makes me want to keep that trust more than anything else in this world.
15. She talks to me, even though she’s thirteen and hormonally supposed to hate me at this age. I think she actually likes me. Makes my chest swell even thinking about it.
She is everything I strive for in myself, smart, funny, human and brave. I am still working on it. She is light years ahead of me. So when people talk to me about her and say that she is a lot like me I nod and smile and pretend that is true. The truth is though, she is so much more. I was NOT like her as a child, I was a little more, um, precocious. I was a slow learner.
Now my sons are also high up there on my list, they teach me to laugh and love and play and I love them just as much. But if I had to tell you who my hero is today, it is Meghan, the 13 year old girl who has taught me who I am, who she is and who I want to be.
Not my usual attempt at humour and over sharing but close to my heart. I thought I would let you see the soft and squishy part of me. Take a close look; it doesn’t make an appearance often. Just ask the man in tights. (And no I won’t pay for your therapy for that image).
