Holy crap - I think I died

Okay, stop the world, I have a revelation. Apparently I am innately prone to wanting immediate gratification. Patience is not my strong suit. Scott, stop snorting, it’s not polite!

It’s been a week and 2 days and nothin’! I don’t feel much better, I haven’t lost any weight and I’ve probably peed the equivalent of Niagara falls! I know it takes time but darn it, I want it now!

I did my first aerobics class in I don’t know how long, it was labelled “Low Impact”. My god, I thought I was going to die, as the instructor in her cute little shorts and her tight abs jumped back and forth, I fumbled and bumbled in the back, going right when everyone else went left and vice versa. By about half way through I thought she was surely trying to kill the new kid in class and by the end I couldn’t walk without wobbling. It was almost more gruelling than giving birth and some of the positions certainly corresponded! My face was so red by the end of the class people were giving me weary looks.

I especially LOVED working out in front of a mirror. So my choices were stare at the perfect instructor or stare at the fat blob in the red tee shirt and a face to match doing the human wave (every step and my fat would wobble up and down, super sexy). In fact it was so attractive; I’m surprised the few men working out on weights didn’t jump me.

Anyway, I’m exercising, I’m eating right, so show me the results!